so let's get the fact that i am genuinely in love with a fictional character out of the way

now that i've admitted that, i will be falling into a coma.

all jokes aside, yeah, i'm a cringe self-shipper. renji (and grimmjow but this ain't about him right now) are my "fictional others" as the kids say these days. if you asked me to tell you why renji, i couldn't tell you. i saw this receding hairline headass in episode 16 and instantly fell in love. i still don't know why. but he has become a big part of my life and is probably a big reason why bleach brainrot is rocking my shit. as you will soon come to learn, i have a thing for 1. men with long hair 2. tall, strong men 3. and himbos. renji checks all three. i'm gonna rock his shit for that. it should be noted i have a very strange way of showing love (for people and characters) and that is by saying i'm going to fight them. i couldn't tell you why, but just know it's the highest honor in my weird fucking love language. this will be especially noticable when i talk about a certain brown haired bastard. but this ain't about him either. this is about renji, the idiot who shaved his hairline to make more room for his tattoos. i just really like how determined he is, it contrasts my not so determined nature, so i look up to people who have a drive and something they always want to work towards. he's fiercely loyal, cares about his friends, and they know they can always rely on him. it's admirable, and i'm the same way. all in all, he's not the himbo i make him out to be (not all the time) and is my favorite bleach character.

if you read any of my lovemails, first of all, congratulations, second of all, i love you, and third of all, tack on a lovemail of your favorite character to the password, and if that's too much, any heart emoji will do, just so that i know you are cool as fuck.

yeah, i know.

whether or not you have seen bleach, you have probably seen grimmjow, and have probably said "oh, he's kinda hot". i am no exception.

i see a hot man and i yearn.

i knew about him before i started bleach because of my friends and i would be lying if i said i wasn't expecting to fall in love with him. i absolutely expected it. troubled bad boy with anger issues, a strong desire to fight, and a superiority/inferiority complex combination? sign me up. it only helped when i found out he's a (sort of) catboy. i am a firm believer in headcanons that grimmjow purrs when he's happy, headbutts as a show of affection, and holds his tail in his mouth while in his resureccion form like those snow leopards do. also a firm believer that he's not the hardass, animalistic asshole that everyone makes him out to be. he was a tool of aizen, he didn't know anything other than "tough love", if you can even call it that. he's a product of his environment, having to get stronger to survive, to even be considered and acknowledged. this might be a good time to mention i'm a grimmichi shipper because 1. i'm projecting and 2. this is like one of three enemies to lovers ships i genuinely enjoy. ichigo was the first one to see him as an equal, so he kinda just latched onto him to prove his worth. they see one another as adversaries, but there is genuine care behind it. they bough fought to prove themselves and further their skills. it was mutually beneficial. their relationship shows that grimmjow isn't like other espada that fight just for the sake of fighting, though it might seem like it on the surface, especially as much as he claims it. i could go on forever about his character do not even get me STARTED. all i wanted to say was i would let this man [REDACTED] and it turned into another character analysis essay. fuck.

my feelings for him can also be summed up in "call me old fashioned, but i was raised to serve my king. clean for him. cook for him and everything i do is for him. and if he cheats? that is on me! he caught me slipping and i will apologize and do better."

if you read any of my lovemails, first of all, congratulations, second of all, i love you, and third of all, tack on a lovemail of your favorite character to the password, and if that's too much, any heart emoji will do, just so that i know you are cool as fuck.

everyone has issues except for chad. he's the angel compared to the other three bastards.

yall do not talk about chad enough!!!!! change that!!!!!!! he was the first bleach character i fell in love with and then my standards dropped. mr. sado "chad" yasutora... the gentle giant... literally the ideal boyfriend. also a surprisingly well written poc anime character for a mid 2000s series. literally everything about him is perfect and bleach fans are out here just forgetting about him? a crime. even my senior citizen father who watches bleach with me really likes chad. maybe it's because he watched jojo and told me "he looks like he's from jojo's", but good taste runs in the family anyways. yall just not gonna talk about how cool his fullbringer power is? and how it's directly influenced by how he grew up and his abuelo telling him to use his size only to fight for and protect others? yall better start appreciating chad's character more he's definitely the most grounded in reality, but it only make him better.

if you read any of my lovemails, first of all, congratulations, second of all, i love you, and third of all, tack on a lovemail of your favorite character to the password, and if that's too much, any heart emoji will do, just so that i know you are cool as fuck.

yes this man is toxic as fuck and that's exactly why i'm gonna [REDACTED]

aizen sosuke. you know i thought he was cute when he was a captain. i was like "aw the glasses and the hair are kind of endearing he seems nice". then he went off the fucking rails and i hated him.

that was until him and his dumbass hair strand finally showed back up and started being all sexy and shit.

i tried to hate him. i really did. all my friends were like "man how can you hate aizen he's so sexy" and they were right. i can only describe my feelings as love-hate to the point i would not hesitate to suplex him in a walmart parking lot. i want to fight this man in an official ufc match, break his nose, and then make out with him in the locker room. previously i said that saying i want to fight someone is the highest honor, this does not apply to aizen. this is genuine "i hate you so much i want to beat you to a pulp" but also "i wouldn't mind if we kissed instead though" and i hate it. prime enemies to lover ship is me and aizen.

i also have to mention something my friend said to me regarding aizen because i constantly think about it:

i do have a thing for dilfs.

if you read any of my lovemails, first of all, congratulations, second of all, i love you, and third of all, tack on a lovemail of your favorite character to the password, and if that's too much, any heart emoji will do, just so that i know you are cool as fuck.

if there's any one character that i won't shut up about, it's kenshin himura.

rurouni kenshin was the first anime series i ever watched, and ever since then, it's been a constant source of happiness inn my life, even in the few years that i would fall in and out of it. it wasn't until last year that i really got back into it after the unfortunate reports surrounding it's author. but it didn't deter me, surely tainted the way i would look at the series for the rest of time, but i wasn't going to let that ruin such an important series for me. i probably wouldn't be the same person i am today if my brother hadn't introduced me to kenshin himura and his ragtag group of friends when i was but a young boy of 5 years old (should he have shown me it when i was that young? probably not but my brother also taught me to play first person shooter games like a year after so... i didn't have the most orthodox childhood, much to the dismay of our mom). nevertheless, the series was a constant thought in my mind and only continued to grow when my brother went on his first overseas deployment. since he wouldn't be home for christmas, he asked me what i would want for him to ship to our house. my response: "that one anime with the kenshin guy". clearly even then i still didn't have the best memory, but he knew what i was talking about nontheless. so, that christmas, his wife wrapped up the full boxset of rurouni kenshin dvds that my brother had acquired from working at gamestop and gifted them to me. a year later, he took me out to barnes and noble to pick up the first volume of the manga. in due time, i read through and collected every volume, of which still sits on the top shelf of my bookcase now.
alright, enough backstory, let's really get into why i love kenshin so much. well, for starters, he's a role model. my brother really could've shown me any anime series he wanted to, he was (and still is) a bonafide weeb. but he chose ruroken for a reason, and that reason being that kenshin is a good example of how humans should be. he went through his fair share of struggles, had his tragic backstory and past, yet despite all that, he chose the path of a rurouni, a swordsman who dedicated his life to protecting those around him and swearing to never kill again. it's really admirable honestly, to be able to come back from the life he had and essentially make a full 180 in his ideology. it takes a heart of gold to be able to do that, something he's always had, even when he was living as the hitokiri battousai. in his heart, he was always doing the right thing for the people he loved, just not always in the best way possible.

if you read any of my lovemails, first of all, congratulations, second of all, i love you, and third of all, tack on a lovemail of your favorite character to the password, and if that's too much, any heart emoji will do, just so that i know you are cool as fuck.

wow damien, you actually have a girl as your top comfort character?

backstory, the short version(tm): watched hunter x hunter for the first time in early 2018, got to the chimera ant arc in april and fell in love with meruem and especially komugi. the end.
but why komugi? of all the new characters introduced in the chimera ant arc, why the useless, blind girl of all people?
first off, i do not tolerate komugi slander on these premises. second, komugi was the true hero of the chimera ant arc.you heard me. komugi is the unspoken hero of the 60 episode arc (really? was it actually that short? felt way longer...) that was the chimera ant arc.allow me to indulge you... up until meruem met komugi, he was ruthless and heartless with no one who could tell him no or keep him in check. humans were tools to him, food, nothing more. only then, when he decides to involve himself in the culture of humans, does he become more human. and really, it's all thanks to one human: komugi. i won't go all into the dichotomy of the arc itself and the mirror between meruem and gon's respective descent into light and darkness because there's a thousand other people who have already talked about it (including me) and you're here to listen to me gush about a blind anime girl and not about the human psyche. but, i digress.

i still have yet to finish this lovemail because i'm lazy but also i've written a three page essay on the chimera ant arc. genuinely. i'm trying not to repeat that.

if you read any of my lovemails, first of all, congratulations, second of all, i love you, and third of all, tack on a lovemail of your favorite character to the password, and if that's too much, any heart emoji will do, just so that i know you are cool as fuck.

just great, another bastard gay.

i'm not gonna bother with backstory for this one and jump right into the point; mlm csa survivor who refuses to be emotionally vulnerable and puts up walls as a protectionary technique but really deep down inside cares for those around him? not sure if i just described ash or myself there. but seriously, ash is one of my biggest role models in life. having gone through similar struggles in my childhood as he did, it was hard for me to not empathize with his character (and i'm bad at empathizing with real people, i mean, c'mon). i had the debate of whether or not he was just a big cc or my "highest core id no doubles" and well... the latter won over. he's one of my favorite characters of all time and helped me come to terms with a lot about myself, while simultaneously making me feel more confident. discovering banana fish as a whole was a catalyst for me, and clearly i haven't been able to stop talking about it since it first aired a whole year ago. it's one of few series to leave me with a gaping hole in my heart that can never be filled again. everything about ash's character only drew me more and more into him and made him so important to me. his story and motive hit real close to home for me and, at times, did bring back some bad memories, but despite that, ash overcame it, time and time again. it gave me hope that i could do the same. healing hasn't been easy for me, but i can promise you it would've been a lot harder if i hadn't found a character like ash who i could fall back onto and look up to. seeing yourself in a character is an awesome thing and ash happens to be that character for me. in short, watch banana fish, stan ash lynx and stream red by survive said the prophet.

if you read any of my lovemails, first of all, congratulations, second of all, i love you, and third of all, tack on a lovemail of your favorite character to the password, and if that's too much, any heart emoji will do, just so that i know you are cool as fuck.

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everyone here is cool and sexy and funny and i consider them all my friends, so, you know, don't follow if you don't like them

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